Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
