the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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