I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They are going to name an STD after you.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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