STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
