it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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