Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
