Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
