im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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