so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize