You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
