im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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