Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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