I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
