Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
