ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
