If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
