I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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