so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
