i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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