White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
