Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
