SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
