GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize