I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize