His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Someone shit on the floor
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
