so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
