I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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