Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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