but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
