I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
