I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
