Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize