Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
