my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She's the barista slut.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
