I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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