I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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