NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
