do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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