Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
