Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
