I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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