she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
