everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
