its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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