so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize