i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
