Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
