He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
