Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Everyone says I win the strip club
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Terrible idea I love it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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