Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
