Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
