Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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