You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize