it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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