I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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