dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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