oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize