Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
