i don't like sucking hair
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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