Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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