I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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