I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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