She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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