I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
