babies were throwing up all over the place
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
